Virginia’s Blog

Yesterday, Ginna stumbled out of her nap-slumber saying, “Mom, let’s play in my dollhouse.” (which, by the way I’ve been trying to indulge her by playing in it with her every day for at least 15 minutes….interestingly, she doesn’t really want me to do much of the playing. She just wants me sitting beside her and watching what she does these days. I was talking with a friend about it, and she said it must feel pretty good to Ginna to be in charge of something…all day she is following my rules, and in the dollhouse, I am following her lead.

At about the same time as we sat down on our two pillows to play (which Ginna always puts in front of the dollhouse for us to sit on), Jamey woke up. The first thing out of his mouth was “ball.”

Some days I have to pity the man who married a woman with a background in research and social science. Here are a few musings to explore why this is the case. I have been thinking about an experience from our early marriage and one more recent.

1. I am not satisfied to talk about the happenings of the day. I want to engage in an analysis of the day in a variety of respects. “And what would Ginna have done had I done this rather than this…” “What did ____ really mean when she said_____?” ” on and on…. There is a particular story that illustrates the above point in action. Stan and I were newlyweds living in Starkville. We missed very few home games for AL. I was working on finishing up my graduate work and was VERY BUSY. It was nice to be with friends and away from other pursuits, but I had never been so inundated in sports….not only did we go to games, but we tail gated for hours before the games started. Being not much of a sports enthusiast, I found another way to occupy my mind during games. I began studying behavior of people at the games and commented the entire way home about how certain behaviors were specific to sporting events…and would be viewed as ridiculous in any other context. One day, on the ride home I was reporting on my findings for the day. Stan said, “Why can’t you just go to a sporting event, relax, and enjoy the game? Why do you have to WORK the entire time you’re there? I had tried on the hat of a sports fan as a college freshman. After a year of attending games, I decided it just wasn’t my thing. I didn’t get the game. But I could enjoy the people! As a note of follow-up, I think this period of “inundation” alongside a husband who LOVES football helped me develop more enjoyment for watching the sport. I enjoy the football season now, and though I get few chances to sit and watch the games, I enjoy preparing “game food” and having people over to watch the games. And I actually wish for a chance to sit and watch without distractions!

2. Two weeks ago, Stan and I went on a date. Knowing my propensity for engaging in philosophical and/or problem-solving discourse when given the chance (in other words, when kids are not around needing attention), Stan stated at the beginning of the meal that I had JUST ONE QUESTION. He said he did not need a thesis or outline to guide the discussion of the evening. How did he know that I had that very afternoon developed a 3 page outline in my journal to work towards solving a communication hurdle we were experiencing? After he answered my question, he said he wanted me to answer the same question in 3 minutes or less. He reiterated that he did not need a week’s work of thinking….just 3 minutes. Funny….I had no quick answer to my own question. But I did come up with it in the allotted time!

I guess I can see that my husband has come to understand me a bit more than he did 5 years ago….he can anticipate me.

Jamey loves hitting the ball!! You can’t really see how dirty he is in this photo…but let me assure you that he has thoroughly coated his back and socks with dirt, and has brought a shovel of dirt and dumped it in our backyard playroom…in his first few minutes of playing outside today!

I was talking with a friend yesterday who was lamenting the fact that even after dressing her boys for church that they manage to get dirty…on the way to the car. She said another friend who has two girls and two boys reminded her that if she had a girl, she would have cried the entire way to church that the bow in her hair wasn’t in the right place. So true!!

So, to balance some of my recent posts, I intend to post more pictures and stories this week!! I need to take some of Jamey..Stan bought him a t-ball set and he is practicing away.

A Jamey Story
Jamey has for months been pushing Ginna’s baby’s stroller in the backyard. He doesn’t put babies in it. Nonetheless, I’ve thought it was pretty sweet to see him pushing a stroller. Well, I have finally ascertained that he doesn’t see a stroller….he sees a wheel barrow!! He has started shoveling dirt into the back of the stroller and pushing it.

A Ginna Story
Last night, we were sitting on the sofa after putting Jamey to bed. She said, “Mom, let’s hang out.” Where did she come up with that??

Ginna and I made this cake to celebrate Memorial Day. Thanks, Lee, for the idea!!

Or pointer finger, as the case may be!! I am posting this because Jamey made me laugh so hard last week. We were swimming at the Y when a little girl jumped in to her mom. Jamey started clapping and gave her a double thumbs up…or double pointer finger up, which is equivalent praise coming from Jamey.

Ginna is a pretty intense questioner. Our sermon today was on words….our pastor said that on average, people speak about 16,000 words per day. Ginna, I’m quite sure, would be an outlier here…..

I tell Ginna at least two stories a day…at nap and at night. They are all made up…and the general cast is comprised of the “four Grays,” sometimes some grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and an occasional friend. Lately, we’ve had a number of stories with just Ginna and Mommy…doing fun things together. A few times lately, we’ve particated in service projects in our stories…making food for children who don’t have a lot, etc. So, now she is intently trying to figure out exactly who it is that doesn’t have enough food. She asks a number of questions each day….”Who one is it, Mom? Is it ___? Or ______?” She doesn’t quite get the concept that there are many children in the world we do not know.

We joined the YMCA last week….what a wonderful investment!! For a fee of $76 per month, Jamey is in swim classes, Ginna is tumbling, and Jamey is in a rhythm class. Stan and I are swimming together on weekends (the childcare is FREE!)…and I’ve been taking the kids to swim several afternoons a week. Our YMCA has such an amazing facility.

I think I enjoy this so much because it gives me lots of activities to do with the children. I am much more of an “activity” mom…. Ginna loves for me to play in her dollhouse with her these days…and honestly, it is very hard for me to sit on the floor and make pretend people have a conversation. I only last about 5 minutes. But I’m happy to read, go on bike rides, swim, sing, dance, etc. I’m glad to have a new place to do these things regularly.

Jamey has been calling with great resolve for his DaDa all week! He looks for him out the windows, at the YMCA…everywhere! Last night, I was putting him to bed and Stan was in the shower. He had cuddled up to me and was starting to drift off. Then he suddenly sat up, pulled his paci out, and called for Dada. Dada came to his rescue and finished putting him down.

This week’s “question” has already been answered. Ironically, considering what I shared about my desire in college to escape the world of alphabetical assessments….I now wish I could get a grade in a number of areas. I’ve contemplated this throughout the week…if I could get grades in life, would I want to? Who would be the judges? Which reports would I prefer? A report card for: parenting, being a wife, being a Christian? What if I could get a report card from God? It’s the third that I’ve contemplated the most….and wishing that such a report could be generated that encompasses all of the others. God does give clear instruction and feedback…but sometimes I want a fax. Instead, I have to be willing to listen for a still and small voice. I have to pursue quiet. And I have to be willing to be vulnerable and ready to hear what needs changing…and to accept his unchanging (and unaffected by my performance) affection for me and acceptance of me. I have to be willing to see that aside from Jesus, I can’t score well in any endeavor.

I remember attending a Bible study in college….and the person teaching talked about how we wear Christ’s “white coat.” His righteousness is ours, and we can’t add to it nor take away from it. Whenever I feel like I’m not measuring up, I think about this invisible robe.

So, my answer is YES.

A quote posted in our church’s newsletter this week resonates with my thoughts this week: