The Pervasiveness of Song is Noticed….

Songs pervade my parenting…we sing to learn, to communicate, to pray…we sing in play, we create songs to illustrate make-believe stories and to relive lived stories. Recent manifestations of this have been the following: 1) Ginna and I pray in song together at night. We take turns leading in lines, and the other repeats the line. This seems to keep her involved in the prayer. At bedtime, I tell a story (sometimes in song), we pray, and then I sing her 3 songs. So bedtime and song go hand in hand. Two nights ago, I was putting her to bed, and she asked to lead in the prayer song. Her first 3 lines were as follows: “Thank you God for this mommy. Thank you God for this singing girl. Thank you God for my windows.” I guess she appreciates the pervasiveness of song! 2) Jamey and I have recently started reliving our day together in song at night. I sing all of the things we did together…snuggling in the morning, going on walks, building with blocks, learning new words, reading books about animals and cars, etc…. On Thursday our song was particularly lively because Ginna had been at preschool that morning and we had some time alone to explore new activities. I remember once when Ginna was close to his age, my mom set up an activity for her to use a small ladle to spoon dried beans into muffins tins. I let him do this, and he loved it! He also drew pictures on the easel that morning. Sometimes when I come to the end of my song, and he will say heartily, “MORE!”

Singing with my kids is a way to add levity and light-hearted instruction to our interactions.

 

Perspectives on Family Ministry

Stan and I ordered a book months ago and it finally came yesterday: Perspectives on Family Ministry; 3 Views. I have been very anxious to read this book, as I’ve spent some time lately thinking about the role of churches in supporting and equipping parents for discipling their children. The book presents three ways churches do family ministry: the family-integrated model, the family-based model (separated contexts), and the family-equipping model. I’m just in the introductory chapters but have a few quotes to share:

There is a quote about churches building structures to support segregation…..churches will “build buildings to support segregation–and they will do it with excellence. They will not build for racial segregation, but to support age segregation…Both the natural appeal of such buildings and the programming centered there will guarantee [that] teenages will only experience church life with people almost precisely their own age. Adults will find no ways to bless children, much less even see them. Young people will be cut off from the richness of almost all adult relationships. And, most importantly, they will not see members of their own families until it is time to meet at their cars to go home.” -Richard Ross

The authors also state that “the ministry models that many ministers have studied in seminaries and inherited in local churches are fundamentally flawed. As a result, well-intended ministers have attempted to pursue tasks in the sole context of the church that God designed to occur first and foremost in another context. That other context is the family.”

I’m sure there will be other things coming on this as I read the book.

 

Photo Update

It has been quite a while since I have uploaded photos…so here are some!

We went to have Jamey’s cast removed after 3 weeks of it being on….and they decided to leave it on for two more weeks. Thankfully, it has since been removed!! I took these photos in the cast room on the day we thought it was coming off. In the last of these three photos, you see Ginna and Jamey sitting together. This has been a hobby of theirs lately…find little places to sit and squeeze in together. You’ll see other examples below.

Near the end of August, the kids and I took a trip to San Diego to see my college roommate, Rachel. She was there celebrating her 30th birthday. We spent the night with her in the historic US Grant hotel….and Ginna called it the G hotel since there were G’s on the doors and bed pillows. This was exciting for her!

The kids got Rachel into all sorts of crazy games!!

We took them to the science museum…there was a toddler room that they loved.

Ginna filled the grocery carts with food; Jamey filled with blocks.

Together, they devised a system for Jamey to drop food from the black window onto the conveyor belt (you can’t see him, but he is inside the structure), and Ginna would catch it and put it into the cart.

Museums like this are great. There were even reminders on the walls about child development….it can be helpful to remember that young children do not naturally think from the perspective of anyone but themselves (well, neither do many adults). There were tips for encouraging healthy play and interaction.

Here is another photo of them sitting together. Ginna comes up with all kinds of make-believe schemes and gets Jamey involved. They were driving a car last week with their babies sitting in their bike helmets. She told me they were in their car seats.

They love their daddy!

Ginna started back to preschool two weeks ago. She is going three mornings a week and loves it.

LOL!!

Jamey lives in the backyard these days. He is usually digging in a designated digging zone. Some mornings, he brings a shovel to me and asks me to come dig with him.

And there is the photo update!

 

Genesis and Gender

I mentioned over the summer that I am working on a study of Genesis by Tim Keller. I also think I mentioned he makes a number of comments on gender. In the first few lessons, his commentary on the roles of males and females on “subduing the earth” (involvement in society and culture) and on males and females in marriage are so different than other teachings I have heard on these subjects.

Here are a few excerpts:

“Not only do we learn that work itself has great dignity, but we also learn that all kinds of work have dignity. If your world-view does not grasp the goodness of material creation, then ‘manual labor’—labor which is more physical and which involves more contact with the ‘stuff’ of natural world—will be seen as lower and beneath us. Greek philosophy was one source of this view of work, but the current era of global capitalism has given us new resources for despising work like farming or teaching or caring for children. ‘Information’ work now pays far better than manufacturing, etc. Also, although feminism has been rightly seeking to open up the public-work world for women, it has unfortunately demeaned child-rearing and domestic work because it is non-paying.”

“Genesis 1:26 confirms the equal dignity of male and female. Both are said to be created in the image of God from the beginning. Both genders, not just males, are given “dominion” over the earth in Genesis 1:28. [God blessed them and said…, fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over….].It means that only as males and females together in full participation can we carry out our mandate to build civilization and culture. This is in contrast to the traditional view that “woman’s place is in the home.”

“Besides this explicit statement of equality, these verses also hint that the sexes are complementary. Immediately after making us male and female (v. 27), God says: “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth…” (v. 28).”

(He goes on to say this is something we cannot do alone.)

“Thus, male and female are equal in dignity but different in many traits and functions. We are equal but not inter-changeable or equivalent. There is a tendency for the ‘liberal’ mindset to emphasize the first of these truths and a tendency of the ‘conservative’ mindset to emphasize the second of these truths. But they must be both believed together.”

Another noteworthy point Keller makes is that the word used for “helper” (as in, females were created as helpers (ezer in Hebrew) to males) is used almost every other time in the Bible to describe God Himself. Therefore, it cannot denote inferiority. The Biblical concept of a helper, then, is one who helps out of strength in a supportive way.

Sifting one’s way through modern culture’s views on gender and marriage is challenging. I am thankful for these teachings.

 

Sugar Sweetened Beverage Tax

I participated in a webinar today organized by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation on halting the childhood obesity epidemic. A recent report was mentioned favoring taxing sugar sweetened beverages. You can read the report here: http://content.nejm.org/cgi/content/full/NEJMhpr0905723

I have been particularly attuned lately to messages about environmental and policy-based efforts to affect the health of Americans (partly because I teach community nutrition and also because I get frustrated with the mentality that we should just tell people what is healthy and they’ll change…..come on, people…. we know apples are better than Big Macs!!). I’m not sure what to think about taxing sodas….I’m certainly not opposed, but I have a hard time thinking it’ll make a big difference.

I also read a string of articles in the NEJM lately about health care reform that emphasized the grave need for changing our current system to one of PREVENTION. One article said we need to find ways to provide incentives for healthy behavior. Another was written from the perspective of a clinician and emphasized ways to cut costs by reducing malpractice awards and simplifying paperwork/coding that must be done for patients…and also to return to a greater reliance on clinical judgment so that unnecessary tests are not performed simply to cover the doctor from being sued.

Anyway, I hold myself responsible for teaching my students to combine traditional health promotion approaches (information transfer) with developing social marketing messages, environmental supports, and policies that support acting out that information. This is a new way of thinking for most students.

 

You know you must be really tired when…

Last week, I was lying down with Ginna at nap time. Lately, one of the games we have played is to pretend that she is a baby again, and I give her some pats and sing some songs. On one particular day, she asked if she could be the mommy and I be the baby. Next thing I remember….she was standing at my side trying to wake me up. Apparently, she was quite good at getting the “baby” to sleep and then slipping out of the room!!

 

Sound familiar, anyone??

The why phase is wearing on me….here is one such conversation from yesterday. Multiply it times 300 and you’ll understand part of my day.

(Driving home from the grocery store)

Ginna: Why didn’t we get buns?

Me: We did.

Ginna: Where are they?

Me: In the trunk.

Ginna: Where in the trunk?

Me: In a bag.

Ginna: Where in the bag?

Me: I don’t know.

Ginna: Why don’t you know? Why don’t you know? Why don’t you know?

Ugh!!

 

A Peace Disturbed

There have been several moments lately in which the reality of the fallen world has caused to me to fret greatly. One of those moments was Sunday night when Stan showed me a PSA on texting while driving. Not only did 2 of the 3 teens driving while texting die in the ensuing crash, the mom and dad were killed in a car with the two children in the back seat left alive and questioning why their parents weren’t waking up. I couldn’t shake this….I laid in bed that night for hours unable to sleep. Driving in LA is sometimes terrifying to me….but I know accidents can happen anywhere. I know God is sovereign, good, and trustworthy…yet there is no guarantee that tragedy will not come. This is hard. Last night I read the following from My Utmost for His Highest. It helped restore my perspective and reminded me that many of the times I have felt peaceful in the past have been based on ignorance…age and being a parent are wiping away that ignorance. “My peace I give to you…yet not as the world gives.”

Here is the what I read:

“There are times when our peace is based upon ignorance, but when we awaken to the facts of life, inner peace is impossible unless it is received from Jesus. When Our Lord speaks peacce, He makes peace, His words are ever “spirit and life.” Have I ever received what Jesus speaks? “My peace I give unto you”–it is a peace which comes from looking into His face and realizing His undisturbedness.A

Are you painfully disturbed now, distracted by the waves and billows of God’s providential permission, and having, as it were, turned over boulders of your belief, are you still finding no well of peace or joy or comfort; is all barren? Then look up and receive the undisturbedness of the Lord Jesus. Reflected peace is the proof that you are right with God because you are at liberty to turn your mind to Him. If you are not right with God, you can never turn your mind anywhere but on yourself. If you allow anything to hide the face of Jesus Christ from you, you are either disturbed or you have a false security.

Are you looking unto Jesus now, in the immediate matter that is pressing and receiving from Him peace? If so, He will be a graciou benediction of peace in and through you. But if you try to worry it out, you obliterate Him and deserve all you get. We get disturbed because we have not been considering Him. When one confers with Jesus Christ the perplexity goes, because He has no perplexity, our only concern is to abide in Him. Lay it all out before Him, and in the face of difficulty, bereavement and sorrow, hear him say, “Let not your heart be troubled.”

-Oswald Chambers

 

Teaching Respect, con’t

My poor judgment today has caused many thoughts to go through my head. I’ll share the story first and then the thoughts.

I took the kids shopping this morning to look for a birthday present. As we were looking in the store, Jamey became rather restless. Ginna had just been trying out a little bag that you squeeze and it made a sound. I asked her to give it to Jamey for a moment so we could finish. I forgot to get it back from him and headed to the check out. The clerk asked me for the item in Jamey’s hand to add to my purchases. I told her he was just looking at it and we would put it back. She rudely told me she saw him put it in his mouth and she could not sell it. She proceeded through the checkout in a huff and then told the clerk as I was leaving that I let me baby “slob” all over the item (which was hardly the case)….and that I had intended on putting it back on the shelf. I left pretty irritated. First of all, I should have not allowed Jamey to play with the item….I clearly didn’t think about him putting it in his mouth (he’s almost 2…when will the oral phase end?!?!?) But I really get upset when someone judges me like this… I decided to turn around and offer to purchase the item. So back we went…. I told her that I was very sorry for what had happened and that I would be glad to purchase the item….but I did not appreciate being treated so rudely. She said that it was ok….but basically that hopefully I had learned my lesson and would not let anything like that happen again.

So here are my thoughts. First of all, today we are both left with one impression of each other. I think she is a rude lady who lacks understanding. She thinks I am a poor parent who doesn’t know how to teach her children respect. Hopefully, we are both wrong. But that was the only chance we had… and it’s over.

Second, I wish women could be less judgmental of other women. I work really hard to teach my children respect…and apparently, I was not respectful of the store’s property today. It was a mistake. Judgments such as this have always bothered me greatly as a parent. In New York it was the older women who often made rude remarks to me for taking my kids outside (albeit properly dressed) when the temp fell below 50 degrees.  Last week, it was a parent at Ginna’s ballet class (other story….but basically Ginna wouldn’t set food in her ballet class and a woman made a snide remark about the way I handled it….later found out that Ginna would not go it because she “wanted a lady teacher”….two days later she went in with no qualms). As a result of these experiences, I am going to try to give parents the benefit of the doubt when I can. Kids are not easy to keep quiet and calm in public. I do the best job I can to teach my kids to be respectful….and I leave when they aren’t. But some days (ha, ha)…I am just not perfect in my execution.

Robin, didn’t you have a post somewhat like this about a visit to Chick Fil A once?

 

Summer Fun

 

This week has been full of things we’ve been meaning to do this summer but have not yet done. The first was a visit to Chuck E. Cheese….we have one in walking distance and Ginna has been asking to go for months. My mom took her when she was 2 and she did not like it at all…we ended up leaving pretty soon after getting there. This time she liked it much more! We just went for about an hour on Monday afternoon, so it was not too crazy.

This is a random photo from this week….my sister’s family has been traveling around with us all week. In this photo Uncle Ben (the bear) is picking up baby Rebecca from her school. Ginna’s favorite doll’s name is Aunt Elizabeth.

Tuesday was park and bike riding day..our usual. On Wednesday we went to the California Science Center. The kids had great fun in the two rooms designed for children 7 and under. Here are some photos:

Jamey went crazy over the millipedes and mice!

Ginna made a bug relief.

Building in the workshop….

This was Ginna’s favorite thing..the airport….appropriate for a girl who loves to go anywhere!!

This was an exhibit about identity. There were colored columns with different personality characteristics written on them. You stand under the opening and hear voices that sound like someones thoughts who has that particular personality. “Social” sounded just like Ginna, and “organized” sounded like me….

This floor illustrated how people interact and affect each other. As you walked, a colored dot followed you. As you touched other people’s dots, your dot picked up part of their color.

This was a fishing exhibit.

Thursday and Friday have been fun YMCA days….we had tumbling, pilates (for me), and ballet yesterday. Today, after Jamey’s cast comes off I think we will celebrate by swimming! I’ve thought a lot this summer about a book I read when Ginna was a newborn about the “golden hour of play.” It basically said that it was important to spend about an hour of focused time with your child each day. I find that hard to do at home….I think about things I need to do while I’m playing and usually only last for a few minutes (with the exception of reading books…I last longer while reading). Anyway, when swimming with the kids or playing with them in their classes, I find it easy to focus on playing and interacting with them.